Hey i noticed everyone likes comedy jokes and so and i also wanted to make a comedy jokes too. maybe We can all like comedy jokes together and laugh forever and ever.

in valhalla.

WATCH COMEDY JOKES and feel the lulz with your bodily parts. twitter it to facebook and make everyone love jokes about comedy.

the downside to being awake all night is that when you post something, almost no one sees it.

a lot of people seem to think that the wolf in The Never Ending Story is the Nothing. the wolf clearly talks about how the Nothing is going to do whatever and eat everything, PLUS the wolf gets stabbed. if the wolf were the Nothing, then the Nothing just died, and everyone's safe. people don't pay enough attention. to anything.

old people like to say "working hard or hardly working." then they laugh, like it's the first time they've ever heard that "joke." it's not even a joke, it's just minor wordplay. i knew an old guy who said this to everyone. every day. he was a janitor. he'd push his mop around and say "working hard or hardly working gwuhhuhhahahahaha" to any kids standing around. he probably hated himself. he was, like, over 60 years old, and his life involved pushing a mop around and cleaning up other people's shit.

if you're 60+ and you have to push a mop around for a living, you should go rob a bank or something instead. get your money illegally. who cares? you're 60. and the alternative involves pushing a mop around and thinking "working hard or hardly working" is funny. that's no way to live. do you want some crappy watch and a gift certificate to Denny's when you finally retire at age 83, two weeks before you finally die, or do you want some dignity? do you want your eulogy to be "he died with a bottle of 80 year old scotch in one hand while he was banging two 19 year olds" or "he pushed a mop good and brightened up everyone's day with his good cheer and playful jokes."?

and the latter is not only a shit eulogy, but a total lie, because "working hard or hardly working" isn't even a joke. and no one thought it was funny. no one just broke up with their girlfriend or found out that no one on newgrounds like weird, original cartoons or lost a 20 dollar bill and heard the old mop man say "working hard or hardly working," then thought "shit, he's right. everything's going to be ok!"

you die an old, lame mop man with a boring life everyone tried to pretend was interesting. like, old man man really lived his life to the fullest. bullshit. he pushed a mop around until he died because he couldn't afford to retire.

i've been really wanting some popcorn. oddly craving it. i wanted it Sunday, Tuesday, and Wednesday. i want it now, too. but i don't have any. i thought about driving to the theatre and picking some up. i wondered if they'd let me past the velvet rope if i didn't have a ticket.

"Uh, ticket?"

"no, i'm just going to grab some popcorn and get out of here."

they'd probably let me. they're highschool kids and they don't care. they don't have a work ethic because they've figured out that jobs suck, and who cares? they don't want to push mops around, they want to post inane shit on twitter.

so, i'd eat some corn chips, too, if i had them. but i don't. all i have are girlscout cookies. thin mints. in the freezer. along with haribo gummy bears. i would eat tacos right now. tacos also involve corn. i wonder if i'm just craving hard corn. maybe i'm low on nutrients or yellow.

yeah, if you think that the wolf is the Nothing, you're wrong. he's a fan of the Nothing, or a herald, or maybe an avatar, but i don't think he's actually an avatar. he's a nihilist for some reason. the wolf has no back story. he just shows up and talks about how great the Nothing is, and then he dies from being killed.

we've been doing some work around Nihil and Rat .com over the past few days, with Mrs. Rat integrateing a wordpress blog into the site. if you like blogs, and i have no idea why you would, then we have another stupid thing for you to keep track of. i think we're going to use it, mostly, as a platform to blah and bluh on about animation projects, or illustrations that people on newgrounds hate. various things and wotnots.

it's nice, for me, on account of it being within the site, meaning i don't have to pay attention to any of you delicious scrubs anymore, catering to myself within my own private circle jerk, with Mrs. Rat cheering from the sidelines.

while all of this is uninteresting, and there's no reason for you to have even read this far, i'll add that the site has come together nicely and that i hope i never have to work on it again, because it's finally done. with the exception of a comics gallery that i like and isn't a lot of effort to set up. we're looking into comicpress for that.

boring! but are you still here? then here's something else, i guess.

is they need serious reform.

because i don't know if you know but i think you should know... i think i need you to know, i got to shout it from the internet i need you to know, i just got to say

also happy birthday Mrs. Rat because i have to post text.

hawt new hantey gaem:

Encounter and Screw
METAL GERA ADITION!

DIP UR WICK IN SOME BIG MAMA TIT

Tom Fulp posted this thing about the Gummy Bear Advert.

there are three rules to content on Newgrounds:

01. if it's weird, it's a ripoff of Salad Fingers.

02. if Jason Steele made it, it's a ripoff of anything done by the guy who made Charlie the Unicorn.

03. if there's an animal in it, Lord Zorgatron made it.

the gummy bear advert nearly violates rule #03, but gummy bears aren't real animals. if you like gummy bears, listen to this: gummibear remix. there used to be a much cooler remix of the old cartoon theme song. it's gone now.

then, this happened:

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/* */

it's allegedly today.

we made a short cartoon for TheBoogley.

SMBSS Party and drinks this weekend.

in tribute.

for people too busy to google it themselves

and then this happened. and it never got old.